The Margin of Life

Have you noticed that there never seems to be enough time for everything – especially the really important things? It is tough for many of us to squeeze in 10 minutes to simply breathe with no other purpose or to notice a sunset or to gaze into a child’s eyes without worrying about changing a diaper.

We all get a few of these moments, but they have to be squeezed in. Maybe it’s more accurate to say they are “squeezed out” – out to the margins of our lives. Imagine your own life as a typed sheet of paper. How big are the margins on that sheet? 1 ½ inches all the way around? 1 inch? A half inch? Do you find the margins getting smaller? I know that for me it is very easy to continually add things to the page. With a letter or an article, perhaps I have the luxury of going to a second page. Not so with life, though.

There are career obligations for many of us. That takes forty hours – or fifty – or more. Plus, there’s the time commuting to work. For some, it means significant air travel. And almost everyone I talk to tells me that the expectations and demands on all those hours are higher than ever. As companies have become “leaner”, the margins for us as employees or as business owners have become much smaller. Oh, and then there’s time when we’re not working that we all spend “thinking about” work. Our supposed – “leisure time” is spent checking email, voicemail and PDA’s.

If you’re like me, there are also a few obligations outside of work as well. We volunteer time for scouting and soccer and to our faith communities. We may serve on committees or non-profit boards. This work is important and can be very rewarding. Still, it takes space on our page and often pushes the text further to the edge – shrinking our margins.

At the same time, those of us with families want to be there for them. We rush to kids’ sporting events and school plays. We try to combine activities be more efficient. Pick up a gallon of milk on the way home from work, and while you’re at it, drop off the dry cleaning, and make sure you get there in time to help the kids with their homework! Don’t you just feel like a hamster that keeps running around on a wheel from which he can’t escape?

There are times that I feel that I have 1/100th of an inch margins on my page. I have squeezed so much on it and have left myself so little buffer.

In addition to time, I think our society has taught itself to do the same with other resources as well. Consider finances. The average American used to actually spend less than they earned – leaving a margin. That margin has shrunk to the point that it’s non-existent. Some studies say that we have a negative savings rate. That’s like the message I occasionally get from my computer printer – “printed area is outside the margins”.

Margins are good. Ask advertisers and graphic artists. They know the power of “white space” in an ad. Fewer words are often more powerful. Or in the case of Nike, a simple swoosh can suffice.

But margins in our lives are essential. It is in the margins that we renew ourselves. We reenergize ourselves. We rediscover ourselves. A few professions have figured this out. Often in academia and occasionally in the clergy, professionals take sabbaticals. Sabbaticals represent time away from the routine – sometimes thinking, sometimes apparently doing nothing – more often, doing something totally different. Always, gaining new perspectives that can’t be seen while running at full speed on the hamster wheel.

The root word of sabbatical is the same as Sabbath. In the Judeo-Christian and other traditions the concept of a day of rest used to be common. Stores and restaurants and even gasoline stations were closed. Kids didn’t have basketball games. Committees didn’t meet. Nobody was expected to check their email to see what was happening at the office. Time was spent with family, with nature, and with things spiritual – however one defined it. Such days were opportunities to renew and to reconnect with one’s self, one’s family and with one’s spiritual Source.

Farmers of old, too, knew of the concept. Instead of relying on chemicals to juice up their mineral-deprived cropland, they routinely allowed a field to lie fallow so that it could rest. And they held back some of the grain from their harvest in store for the future – perhaps for leaner times. They also typically allowed nature herself to define their sabbaticals. When the sun went down, it was time to rest. When the days were shorter, it was time to repair the equipment and rejuvenate the body. They understood margins.

What would it look like if you could get your margins back? I know that we’re not likely to change all of society and return to the way things were 100 years ago. But what if we could find a few ways to restore some of the margin in our lives? Would you feel better? Would you have more energy for the many activities that you do? Might you even become more creative and perhaps more effective at those things? I am convinced that you would.

Don’t expect margins to instantly reappear without some intentionality on our part though. Let’s look at some ways we can invite them back in:

1. Make it a stated priority. Tell yourself, your family and others that it is important to create and honor the idea of margins.
2. Schedule it. Before the calendar or PDA gets full of the external world’s priorities, put yours in there. Be really clear that they are priorities and be very cautious in relinquishing your “sacred” time.
3. Identify activities for these times. Even if you create the space, if you’re out of practice in enjoying margin, you may have a tendency to let others usurp that time. Have a list of things that rejuvenate you (gardening, hiking, yoga, listening to music, reading, writing, etc.)
4. Pick the time and place that works for you. Perhaps the weekends aren’t the best for you. It can be any day, any time for any amount of time. If it’s more than you’re currently giving yourself … it’s a good start!
5. Notice how you feel. This is important. When you are enjoying your margin time, do you feel more energized? Also, as you go back into your routine, does that energy come with you? And finally, does the anticipation of future margin moments give you more enthusiasm and hope?
6. Gradually expand to larger blocks of time. If you currently only find minutes of margin, try hours. If you sometimes enjoy a full day of margin, try to schedule several days together. If you are already good at taking a week vacation (no voice mail or email, etc), consider a one-month to six-month sabbatical. Wherever you are, start from there.

Once you’ve created a bit more margin, consider ways to bring the sabbatical or margin mindset back into the everyday moment-by-moment world. I find that when my mind and body remember what it feels like to have no cares, the same feeling can help transform the major stressors of life. When caught in traffic, frustrated about the fact that I’ll be late for a meeting, knowing that there’s nothing I can do about it … I might as well relax! Breathe! Remember the beach from my last vacation or the rainbow I was blessed enough to see the week before.

Margin is very much about mindfulness. Many of those whom I admire most are masters of mindfulness. They stand out from the crowd – not for their material successes, but for their relaxed insight and perspective. And they don’t have to be on a mountain in Tibet or reading holy books to find it. They live it in their daily lives. They are nurses and janitors, attorneys and laborers, farmers and single moms. They, too, lead busy lives. But somehow, they manage to stay open to the wonder of life, open to the possibilities, open to the joys. They smile with authenticity. They notice beauty. They know that they can do anything, but they can’t do everything. And what they do ... they do with margin for humility.